"To commemorate the first morning of the year in which every single person is miserable, cranky, and soaked in sweat, the subway just stopped working altogether. "Due to a temporary power loss system wide, expect delays on all lines. Allow additional travel time," the MTA announced around 10 a.m. Pray for everyone underground, and their deodorant. Con Ed apparently "lost two high tension power feeders, which then caused a power outage to the whole city," but the glitch seems to have worked itself out and the trains are running again."
Typos courtesy of my iPhone